Jolted Java

I’m making coffee, want a cup?

How do you like it? Black… plain brew?
Any sugar? White or raw? You know the one they call Demerara, I like that! Oh, no sugar! How do you ever drink coffee without sugar?
Milk? Cream?
Yes, I know what black means! Nothing in it … just plain.
Want a bit of cinnamon in your black coffee?
No, it’s not going to taste weird, I swear. It’s very mild.
All right, all right, I heard you.

What? No, I’m just adding a bit of zest in my brew, I’m not putting orange juice. Yes, I know orange juice in coffee will be the death of coffee … I know. You need to stop scrutinizing my coffee-making skills. I’m just following a recipe.
No I haven’t put anything in yours. I heard you. You said you don’t like any flavour.
No, I won’t try to smuggle any cinnamon or orange zest into your brew. You like it just plain. I’m not trying to convert you ‘again’!

No, I’m not making hot chocolate. That chocolate is for my coffee. Sure, go ahead, have a piece if you like. It’s dark chocolate, just so you know.
Yes, I suppose it makes sense that you like eating 90% dark chocolate – it has practically no sugar or milk, like your coffee.
Yes, I remember: no cream in yours. That is for me.
No I’m not making dessert.

No, I haven’t changed my mind about the coffee. Those rum bottles are for my coffee.
What do you mean? You said you don’t like anything in your coffee. No flavour, just plain.
No, of course not, I was not holding out on the rum.
Why does alcohol suddenly make it so alluring?

You said you don’t want it.
And no, you can’t have mine!
No, you can’t run away with the bottles of rum either.

SMUGGLERS COFFEE
Adapted from Food and Wine Online
(Single serving)

Ingredients:

Strong Coffee: 1/2 cup (needs to be hot)
Gold rum: 1 oz
Dark rum: 1 oz
Whipping cream: 1/4 cup
Sugar: 2 tsp
Cinnamon sick: 1 inch stick
Orange zest: 1 long strip + more for garnish
Dark chocolate: 1/4 tsp grated + more for garnish

Method:

Whip cream with 2 tsp sugar till very soft peaks form.
When brewing coffee add the cinnamon and a thick strip of orange zest.
When ready to serve strain coffee into mug, add the rum and 1/4 tsp chocolate and stir well.
Top coffee with whipping cream and a sprinkle of orange zest and chocolate shavings.

Note: the original recipe calls for extra sugar to be added into the brewed coffee. I found this extra sugar unnecessary as the rum is sweet and so is the whipping cream, unless you prefer more sweetness in your coffee. The coffee is totally delicious without the alcohol as well, in which case you need to sweeten it with sugar.